My first post
Hi,
This is my first post, my first blog, and also my first exposure to the internet since I deleted my social media about 6 months ago.
Like most people that write online for the first time, or so I assume, I don't really know how I'm gonna use this tool, but I will. I might explore the features of Bear, learn to properly use Markdown, hell maybe have a schedule on what/when to post, but not now. The number one goal of this blog is to post, the added friction (templates, tags, layout...) will come once I'm used to just post. I don't expect to reach a great audience, or an audience at all, so why wouldn't I just use a note app on my phone (or Obsidian, if I felt fancy) ?
Because this blog holds me accountable.
Over the last 10 years, just like most of us I assume, I cannot recount the amount of monologues that I had in my head, thoughts that seemed funny, painful, useful, that offered a different perspective on something I could be stuck for months. And they're all gone, lost in the foggy network of neurons that we call "I".
That scares me.
While I'm alive, I don't want "I" to be just a sum of what's going on around me. I'm not afraid of change, I'm afraid of losing my identity in the mist of time. More than FOMO, it's such a deep rooted drive to craft, to "be", to understand and evolve. I'm not afraid of death, or dying, as of today atleast. I'm uterly terrified of Hell, if Hell is experiencing what could have been, what could have been done better, the potential, the extremely long tree of decisions that makes a life, a life.
This blog will help me keep a trace of my thoughts, and exposing them to the visible web holds me accountable for my thoughts, my takes, my views, my experiences, and holds me accountable to put it down through a post.
I'll also post more mundane things, potential PRs at the gym, what I've been cooking, photos, what I've been listening to recently... I want this to feel closer to what a social network should be, without necessarly the "network" aspect of it haha.
I strongly forbid myself from using any kind of AI assistance writing on here. Text-based AIs, such as ChatGPT or Claude, add a filter to whatever you were intending on typing. If your initial "draft" is the input, and your published blog post is the output, then the "AI in the middle" becomes this weird blackbox-esque function that strips down the personality from the words you were intending on conveying. It's ok to make mistakes, it's ok to have weird typing habits, it's ok for the reader to miss out on your intended meaning. Atleast all of this is so much better than having a fucking AI chatbot strip down this part of "you" for the sake of "clarity".
I'll probably stick to english for now, french posts may occur once in a while, especially if a word would lose part of its meaning through translation. But most importantly, I will post.
Iratus ergo sum